I didn't sleep last night

I didn't sleep last night. I usually go to bed shortly after putting the kids to bed. I have been really exhausted however when I lay down I get the oh- so -dreaded -heart -burn. I roll from side to side and last night especially the baby was kicking me all night! I read that babies at this time are awake and asleep in the way they will be as an infant so I maybe should get used to being up all night because this little buddy is up all night! My husband doesn't get home until after 8pm and he stays up all hours of the night. I cannot go to sleep until he gets to bed because I need to make sure his mess is cleaned up before I can sleep or the doors are locked or the garage door is shut all the way. Yes I am a nut. When he got to bed around 3 he woke up Leiton who then followed him to our bed. This is the 3rd night in a row. This isn't working for me right now in my panic state to get some sleep. I went out to the small couch upstairs and tried to sleep. I did...for an hour until Hali woke up and was up for the day. She started doing art in the kitchen and I realized I am done for the night. As she was at school today Leiton told me I could take a nap. SO I let him watch unlimited Boomerang in hopes I could I could fall asleep today. I did..for 2 hours! When I woke up somehow he drank or "lost" a whole gallon of milk. But he did the dishes...with a whole bottle of DAWN. He was so proud of himself how could I be mad. : ) Now, Hali is preparing me a cake in her Easy Bake. I may be tired..but what would I do without my kids.

Struggling here...

I have been struggling with my blogging lately. This is due to the fact that I have been feeling pretty negative. I kind of get turned off when there is complaining. I really REALLY don't like complaining especially when it is about others.

I had a long blog complaining about some negative things in my life....but deleted it. That counts as therapy doesn't it????

When I picked up Leiton today it was blizzarding out and as I turned into the lot he was walking down the sidewalk and was almost all the way to the stop sign! I told him he needs to stay by the school and not to walk that far. He said he wasn't going to walk home he just wanted to walk that far. Seeing him in the snow and wind made me think of stories I had heard of kids walking away from school with no one noticing! Scary!!

I just wanted to try this out so this is just for fun. I picked this picture because we went to HSM3 about a week ago. Leiton sat at the edge of his seat the whole movie. When a song broke out he couldn't contain himself. He was moving in his seat and even got up to dance a few times. I am telling you he had no idea anyone else was in the theater he was so into this movie! When we got home however and I asked him if he liked the movie he was like NO! YUCK! and never spoke of the movie again! Too funny!

Baby update

I am finally getting around to blogging about my pregnancy. I apologize for not being a good blogger lately! :) As you can see I had another ultrasound about a month ago. The little bugger would not cooperate with the ultrasound tech so some things were missed however I was able to find out it is indeed another boy! He was all balled up as you can tell from the picture. He was head down with his feet right up to his head which would explain the weird kicking feelings I have been feeling down there. He is healthy as far as they can tell. I have been very very nervous and scared something is wrong this whole time so that was very reasuring! This pregnancy has been very different than the others in that it hasn't hit me that I am going to have another baby yet. With Hali it was all new and exciting and I was constantly reading and learning new things. With Leiton I had a 1 year old around so everything was baby baby baby. This time we have nothing baby around. My mind has been so far away from baby things I have almost forgotten what is going on. If it weren't for how badly I have been feeling you would have no idea were were expecting! I had to quit my job at Meritcare due to not being able to stand for my shift. I would stand for only a few minutes and get a tightness feeling in my stomach, would start sweating and losing my balance and then start not beling able to hear which is a sign of fainting. I also would have swolen ankles when I got home and would be pretty much done for the day to my family. I spoke with my doctor and he explained to me that the blood would go to my feet and because of this obstruction in my middle it would not get to my brain. He suggested moving around more, bobbing on my feet but it didn't help. He also suggesting laying on my left side. Well that works...at home..not at work. I had no choice but to quit and I feel really guilty....that is until I get that icky icky feeling again. I have had it happen while shopping, waiting in line for food at West Acres and it really makes me think ahead to what I am doing. I just need to take it easy and other things will need to wait. This is HARD for me. I am the one to do everything at home and to see things pile up drives me crazy which of course leads to my emotional episodes. Something breaks in my brain and I cannot let it go! I cannot lay down and relax with a mess in front of me so I have learned to clean/pickup SLOWLY. This of course means I am constantly cleaning/picking up from morning to night since I can't get it done in one session. I also have no neck. I have grown a double chin that ate my neck....so ugly. I am so waiting to start a healthy lifestyle. I want to start running and getting into shape again. I have made numerous lists to a new me that I can begin in May. I only hope my boobs will allow me. Breast feeding in the past made my boobs SO big I could barely walk without support from my hands. This lasted for a good year! We'll see I guess. What else....Leiton is so excited. He talks about babies, points out all the babies we see, feels the baby kicking. He is going to be an awesome big brother. Hali is in denial I believe although she does like picking out baby clothes. I'll let that be her thing. I am excited and anxious for this to be over. My friend Gretchen and her husband Rob just became parents of a little girl through adoption are both enjoying their new baby. I am longing for that point. I do not enjoy pregnancy. I am extremely thankful to have the priviledge however.

This is a long one.......

I want to share something that I am really kicking myself about. I have always been very careful to make sure my kids "feel right" about themselves. Sometimes that means manipulating a situation to get them to do what they are supposed to do. I mainly use this for different activities that my kids take part of. With Hali it started with gymnastics. She is generally referred to as a "shy" girl however I have never told her she is shy. When other people comment on her being shy I reassure her and them that she is a thinker or reserved. If you do know her she definately warms up with time and is anything but shy. So when it came time for her to begin gymnastics without a parent I did everything possible for her to feel comfortable being part of a big group. This may sound like coddleing (SP)? but for her it worked and she now loves it. Same thing happened with Soccer. When she started that she was very reserved and tended to just stand there and watch her teammates play. Her first game she cried and did not want to go in. I let her sit and watch for a while but slowly urged her to try and play. It worked and now she loves soccer and takes charge on the field. My problem has recently been with Leiton. He has always been the one to run out to gymnastics without saying goodbye, or to school and playdates. This year however he has been having issues. His first couple soccer practices he went right out there and played awesome. His first game he went in and got hit in the gut with the ball. He cried and refused to go back in the game. I did let him watch for a bit and urged him to get back in there but he flipped out! Just last night was parents day for his boys gymnastics class. Granted there were ALOT of parents and grandparents there for the class prior there are only a few boys in his class so there weren't many people watching his class. He first disappeared behind the Coke machine. I could not get him up and he refused to go. He normally begs to go to gymnastics everyday, or did anyway. I went out and sat with Hali watching thinking he would follow. After ten minutes he did not show. I went out and tried to pick him up and carry him. He went limp and would not stand up. I started thinking about all the money I had spent and had already signed him up for next session. I told him he is going to go in there right now! I said he will not quit. I was getting way too mad. I hurt his arm while trying to pick him up and he started crying more loudly. I went back in the gym to get Hali. Hali then went out to try and get him with no luck. Finally I told him he needs to watch his class at least where he went upstairs to watch from the balcony. He was crying hysterically because I don't believe he has every seen me so mad at him before. After sitting on the floor watching the other boys for a while I said this is ridiculous and Hali and I left to go sit in the lobby. Leiton saw us leave and thought we left him. He ran right past us in shorts and a T with no socks or shoes and ran right outside yelling "MOM!!!!". I ran out to get him and he was hyperventilating. I have never felt so badly for how I handled a situation before in my life. I just don't know how to handle this change in him. I cried just as hard as him when I saw the fear in his eyes. I could not hug him enough. Maybe boys do need a more forceful way to participate in things but this had never been an issue before as he was always so social. Steve doesn't think I need to force anything on him or make him do anything but I really don't agree. (that is a totally different blog entirely) How do I handle this as I feel I cannot give up on him and the things he truly enjoys and is good at. I know it is a fear of the other boys being rough and maybe not as inclusive of him. Does anyone else have this problem? I am completely at a loss here and my self esteem as a parent to him is zilch! He is so quick to forgive me. I need to help him.

A trip to the tire store.

Here's a funny story:

It was a Friday afternoon, I had picked the kids up from school and also our former neighbor's kids as well. I needed to get new tires put on my van so I took the whole group to Mills Fleet Farm. While the van was getting worked on we went and looked at toys which killed a good half an hour however when we got back to the tire store they were not done. I sat down and started reading a magazine. The kids sat and got up and were looking through the window at the workers. Then after a couple minutes of them being too quiet I started paying attention. They were all standing outside the bathroom door looking up at the sign. They were sounding out a word. un--- unnnnnnyyyy sex. That's right they were reading the word UNISEX on the door however they were pronouncing it all wrong...UNsex..."mom!!!! what is in this room!!!????" Their innocent little selves saying the word sex with questioning blank stares made it just too funny not to share. Thank goodness the tires were done before they started asking more questions!

I have heard my share of Who!

Is it possible to watch Horton Hears a Who too much???? Leiton has been laid up on the sofa this afternoon after suffering a migraine and has watched this movie 3 times and is currently on his fourth viewing. Cute movie but my my my...