Slip of the Grip

I am registering my baby boy for Kindergarten today! It feels like he has been around forever but he has only been on this earth for 5 years! He is more than ready for school. He loves preschool and playing with kids. He is by no means shy around other kids his age. I just remember the first day of preschool when he was so excited and ran into the building, hung up his backpack in his cubbie, took a look in the room where he was expected to go and got this look on his face that said "this is not what I expected, there is no way you are leaving me here!". He tried to hold back his tears and his chin was quivering. He kept saying no mama don't leave, I don't want to go here. I did leave him (after 45 minutes). He was crying. I called an hour later and he was fine. When I picked him up he didn't want to leave his friends so I was glad I didn't cave in and take him home with me that morning. He just needed that little nudge from me to let him go as painful as that was. Now I am so proud of how he has adjusted from being home with me all these years to making friends and being a good listener and learner in school. I know he will succeed just as well in Kindergarten. It is just that first slip of the grip that I dread, where he is just as scared and uncertain of the future as I am. The comforts of being taken care of turn into the gratification of taking care of yourself. It is a new comfort that brings even greater peace for me and..in time....him too.